Thursday, April 10, 2014

LEOW Life is a Journey

  • Do you ever question if you have what it takes to be an LEO's spouse?

  • Do you ever wonder why God put you in this 

    role when it doesn't seem like you possess 

    the personality traits needed? 

As I talked with other LEOWs over the last couple months, I realized how normal going through these times are. So many women have shared how the challenges of being an LEO's spouse has them questioning if they really have what it takes. So many of us feel like we weren't naturally wired for some of the things required of us as a LEOW. Some of us may struggle with getting used to the schedule challenges. Some of us question if we are emotionally strong enough to last, or if we can ever find the independance needed to make life "normal".

Some of us find it hard to get used to going about certain situations on our own, sans our LEO. Such as holidays with other family, school events, couples nights with friends, or trips into town to run errands. It's hard for some of us to make plans without our LEO, resulting in feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and sometimes, frustration. 

There are the questions of emotional energy. Can I keep thinking positive as the years go by? Can I stand against my fears and anxieties? Can I put the realities of the job behind me and go about life? When it comes down to I have the strength to keep trying to achieve all this?

What about our marriage? Will it last? What about the badge bunnies or work temptations...things we can't control? Will my LEO change because of the job in a way I don't like? What if he turns into someone I don't know anymore? Where do I fit in all of this?

Some of us are not wired to be extroverted, able to cope with social situations by ourselves. Some of us aren't naturally introverts, able to deal with the isolation that sometimes comes with being an LE family. We have different strengths and weaknesses. Some of us have no problem going to events or holidays by ourselves, while others would rather miss out than brave somewhere alone. Some of us are naturally secure, able to overcome fear and stay positive. Some of us are more naturally negative and struggle with perspective and worry.

No matter how you are wired, no matter what strengths or "weaknesses" you may feel you naturally have, I want to say something to you...
Remove the pressure of expectations. Be kind to yourself and remember, life is a journey and the thing that makes us amazing as LEOWs is the ability to adapt, change, and become strong, awesome women and spouses. We are special because of our dedication to overcoming in the ways we aren't naturally wired. We try to adapt in the ways that make us stronger as families and better as individuals.

Nowhere, does it say we have to get this LEOW thing right out of the gate. In no way are any of us expected to know what we are doing as LEOWs right away...if ever! No, one spouse, exists with the whole package and not one of us has an easy time (if we are being truthful.). Learning how to cope with our roles as spouses is a lifelong journey. And a beautiful one if we give ourselves a break.

If you aren't naturally independent, you will learn to time. You will learn ways to keep yourself positive. You will learn what works to keep your thoughts from going "there". You will learn how to go about your day with less worry and more joy. You will learn everything time.

There will be times of fatigue and mistakes. There will be moments we question and doubt. But we MUST remember our value. When you start to question if you have what it takes, remember your worth. Remember you were set apart for this. You were called to be an LEOW because the Lord set you apart for your LEO. You're going to get this, there is no time limit, and it's going to be a beautiful ride.

So give yourself a break. You are enough, your skills are enough, you will get where you need to be if you keep trying...and it's ok to take the journey to get there. Best's ok if the journey takes a little while.

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