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Sunday, November 17, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013
10 Tips for Surviving this LE Life
Whenever the baby is napping I take some me time and peruse Facebook and Pinterest. One thing I see ALL THE TIME, are questions from people (especially wives) on how to deal with the negative PR that's out there. Do you wonder that too? I definetly have struggled with this, and I want to share how I have overcome the painful, and sometimes angering situation of seeing people hate on cops.
Minding my own business one day, I decided to make a Facebook cover photo for my personal page. It happened to be National Law Enforcement Day so I knew I wanted to make it LE themed. Not having any photos or support ribbons on my computer I opened my Google search and searched "police". Stupid idea. There was a fair share of great photos and links, but all my eyes went to were the hate photos, the negative articles, the really hurtful comments. My blood was literally boiling I was so mad and frustrated. I eventually sifted through the crap and made my cover photo, but during the process I was inundated with so much negative associated with Police that I became really burdened.
This situation will happen to us ALL! Whether you're a wife, a parent, or, sadly, the child of a LE Officer, you will come in contact with people who hate your Officer, and by association, hate you. I've already experienced it. Several people I thought were friends ended up saying to my face, "My boyfriend doesn't want to do anything as couples anymore because your husband is a Cop." or "I'm uncomfortable with your husband's job so it's making it hard for us to be friends." What the heck, right? Man that was hurtful! (I have sense gotten over that because I know we are worth having as friends, and if you can't figure that out...too bad for you. Back to the story...)
When I see my husband parked in his patrol car on the side of the highway I want to blare my horn, flash my lights, yell out the window, "THAT'S MY SEXY HUSBAND! I'M SO PROUD!" When I go to the store and buy the fixings for a yummy dinner I know my hubby needs because of a bad day, I want to tell the cashier all about it. I want to wear my MHP sweater around town, I want to have a car bumper sticker that says, "Proud Trooper's Wife." I want to shout to the world because I am so proud of my husband. But I can't. I have to be careful of who I share with because of the hurtful things they may say, our family's safety, my husband's safety, professionalism...all of it. And it sucks!
It feels like every time I watch a video online of an Officer doing something great I have to endure the comments of ignorant people that can't seem to figure out that, though there may be a bad apple once in a while, not all Cops are rotten. When I check my Facebook I sometimes see people commenting on news posts about how cops accidentally shot a young kid, or ran a red light, or whatever. I want SO BAD to comment on those posts and say, "YOU ALL HAVE IT WRONG!" But, again, I can't.
So how do you survive all the negativety around you? This is MY strategy:
1. Most important!!! Find other LE people to surround yourself with. Find a support group, fellow Officer's wives. Auxiliaries. Online support groups. Positive Facebook pages (or blogs! whoot!). Whatever means you find your LE family, find them quick and cling close. You will always have a safe place within this group. They will understand your struggles, they will know where you are coming from, and they will be able to help you. I personally have been embraced by several LE wives (Hi Karen and Rhonda!) and they have helped me chill the heck out!
2. Crazy doesn't win the argument. Don't be the crazy wife, parent, sibling etc who argues with people in attempt to defend your Officer. It won't work and it just steals your peace. You can't educate ignorance. Period. Move on from people like that and don't engage. (Harder said than done, I know, but sometimes our defensive posture harms more than helps.)
3. DON"T READ THE COMMENTS!!! Seriously. Don't! Resist the urge to scroll down on a news page and read comments. Again, it steals your peace and shreds at your strength. If people have nothing better to do than sit on the internet and hate on Officers from the protection of their desk...you're better than them anyway and you don't need to associate.
4. Pray. A lot. Our resources go beyond our fellow man. We have a supporter who is kind, perfect, and patient. When times get tough and you feel like you have no one, remember, you are NOT forgotten. You are NOT alone.
5. Talk about it. If you are struggling in any way with your LEO's job, find someone to talk with. Find a good friend to chat with over coffee. Find a pastor, or a counselor. Sometimes it does get that bad. But it's not the end and it's never hopeless. Getting our feelings out helps so much. Think of it as sloughing off a dirty layer of skin...it's gone, done, and dried up, and you can walk away.
6. Laugh. Operate with a sense of humor. Operate with a God given joy. Haters are dumb and they don't even know it. One of my favorite ways to remind myself to laugh about a negative situation is to recite the quote, "Don't like Cops? Try calling a crack addict." Gets me every time...cause it's true.
7. Know what you know. You know your LEO is AWESOME! You know he/she has a heart of a sheep dog protecting its flock. You know why your LEO does what he/she does and you know they are doing something GOOD, despite what people think. Cling to that and learn to be ok with being an island at times in your life. As LEO supporters, we have a duty to our Officers. We have a duty to cover them with prayer, to be strong when they can't be, to be encouraging, to be positive. All of these traits start within ourselves. Have confidence in your belief and love of Law Enforcement...they need you. I finally learned how to and now I'm writing this blog!
8. Take a break. Do you ever wonder why I sometimes post recipes or links that have nothing to do with Law Enforcement, even though this is a LE themed blog? Because we all need a break. We understand our Officers need a break from the job. They need a place where they can shut off the TV's and just be. As supporters, we do too. Don't forget that life goes on. Don't focus on the negativity, it will suck you dry. You have a great life to live and when it comes down to it, Law Enforcement is just a job. Shut the news off, stop clicking on the video/article links for a while, don't talk about their job, and just take a breather.
9. Stay in the positive zone. Let those of us who are willing to sift through the crap do it. I mean, find positive blogs, forums, and Facebook pages and stay there. When you find a positive place, enjoy it. I heard the Lord's whisper to write this blog. That means I see all the good and bad everyday, all day long. He is giving me the strength to weed out the bad and present you with the good. So let people like me do the dirty work and just enjoy the benefits that positive encouragement brings. My mission is to be the buffer between the painful negativity and the truth, so more people hear about the awesome job our Officers are doing. Sit back with your coffee and enjoy the many safe, positive places that are LE themed. (my resource page has several great places...check it out!)
10. Finally, let it go. One of my readers emailed me the other day with some advice. She has been a LEOW for 20+ years. Her awesome words were this, "One thing I have learned after all these years is that my husband is safer doing Law Enforcement IN God's will than he is doing anything else OUT of God's will!" Wow! Right? How simply but beautifully put. So I encourage you to cling to that reminder when you feel burdened. When you see the negativity online or in the news remember our men and women in uniform were BORN for this. The Bible says this, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" Jeremiah 1:5 Our Officers were set apart for their calling. They can do it and they will do it, no matter how negative the world is, no matter how many evil people work against them. God ordained them in the womb to do this job. And He set YOU apart to be their wife, parent, sibling, or friend. You can do this too...and that includes surviving and thriving!
Minding my own business one day, I decided to make a Facebook cover photo for my personal page. It happened to be National Law Enforcement Day so I knew I wanted to make it LE themed. Not having any photos or support ribbons on my computer I opened my Google search and searched "police". Stupid idea. There was a fair share of great photos and links, but all my eyes went to were the hate photos, the negative articles, the really hurtful comments. My blood was literally boiling I was so mad and frustrated. I eventually sifted through the crap and made my cover photo, but during the process I was inundated with so much negative associated with Police that I became really burdened.
This situation will happen to us ALL! Whether you're a wife, a parent, or, sadly, the child of a LE Officer, you will come in contact with people who hate your Officer, and by association, hate you. I've already experienced it. Several people I thought were friends ended up saying to my face, "My boyfriend doesn't want to do anything as couples anymore because your husband is a Cop." or "I'm uncomfortable with your husband's job so it's making it hard for us to be friends." What the heck, right? Man that was hurtful! (I have sense gotten over that because I know we are worth having as friends, and if you can't figure that out...too bad for you. Back to the story...)
When I see my husband parked in his patrol car on the side of the highway I want to blare my horn, flash my lights, yell out the window, "THAT'S MY SEXY HUSBAND! I'M SO PROUD!" When I go to the store and buy the fixings for a yummy dinner I know my hubby needs because of a bad day, I want to tell the cashier all about it. I want to wear my MHP sweater around town, I want to have a car bumper sticker that says, "Proud Trooper's Wife." I want to shout to the world because I am so proud of my husband. But I can't. I have to be careful of who I share with because of the hurtful things they may say, our family's safety, my husband's safety, professionalism...all of it. And it sucks!
It feels like every time I watch a video online of an Officer doing something great I have to endure the comments of ignorant people that can't seem to figure out that, though there may be a bad apple once in a while, not all Cops are rotten. When I check my Facebook I sometimes see people commenting on news posts about how cops accidentally shot a young kid, or ran a red light, or whatever. I want SO BAD to comment on those posts and say, "YOU ALL HAVE IT WRONG!" But, again, I can't.
So how do you survive all the negativety around you? This is MY strategy:
1. Most important!!! Find other LE people to surround yourself with. Find a support group, fellow Officer's wives. Auxiliaries. Online support groups. Positive Facebook pages (or blogs! whoot!). Whatever means you find your LE family, find them quick and cling close. You will always have a safe place within this group. They will understand your struggles, they will know where you are coming from, and they will be able to help you. I personally have been embraced by several LE wives (Hi Karen and Rhonda!) and they have helped me chill the heck out!
2. Crazy doesn't win the argument. Don't be the crazy wife, parent, sibling etc who argues with people in attempt to defend your Officer. It won't work and it just steals your peace. You can't educate ignorance. Period. Move on from people like that and don't engage. (Harder said than done, I know, but sometimes our defensive posture harms more than helps.)
3. DON"T READ THE COMMENTS!!! Seriously. Don't! Resist the urge to scroll down on a news page and read comments. Again, it steals your peace and shreds at your strength. If people have nothing better to do than sit on the internet and hate on Officers from the protection of their desk...you're better than them anyway and you don't need to associate.
4. Pray. A lot. Our resources go beyond our fellow man. We have a supporter who is kind, perfect, and patient. When times get tough and you feel like you have no one, remember, you are NOT forgotten. You are NOT alone.
5. Talk about it. If you are struggling in any way with your LEO's job, find someone to talk with. Find a good friend to chat with over coffee. Find a pastor, or a counselor. Sometimes it does get that bad. But it's not the end and it's never hopeless. Getting our feelings out helps so much. Think of it as sloughing off a dirty layer of skin...it's gone, done, and dried up, and you can walk away.
6. Laugh. Operate with a sense of humor. Operate with a God given joy. Haters are dumb and they don't even know it. One of my favorite ways to remind myself to laugh about a negative situation is to recite the quote, "Don't like Cops? Try calling a crack addict." Gets me every time...cause it's true.
7. Know what you know. You know your LEO is AWESOME! You know he/she has a heart of a sheep dog protecting its flock. You know why your LEO does what he/she does and you know they are doing something GOOD, despite what people think. Cling to that and learn to be ok with being an island at times in your life. As LEO supporters, we have a duty to our Officers. We have a duty to cover them with prayer, to be strong when they can't be, to be encouraging, to be positive. All of these traits start within ourselves. Have confidence in your belief and love of Law Enforcement...they need you. I finally learned how to and now I'm writing this blog!
8. Take a break. Do you ever wonder why I sometimes post recipes or links that have nothing to do with Law Enforcement, even though this is a LE themed blog? Because we all need a break. We understand our Officers need a break from the job. They need a place where they can shut off the TV's and just be. As supporters, we do too. Don't forget that life goes on. Don't focus on the negativity, it will suck you dry. You have a great life to live and when it comes down to it, Law Enforcement is just a job. Shut the news off, stop clicking on the video/article links for a while, don't talk about their job, and just take a breather.
9. Stay in the positive zone. Let those of us who are willing to sift through the crap do it. I mean, find positive blogs, forums, and Facebook pages and stay there. When you find a positive place, enjoy it. I heard the Lord's whisper to write this blog. That means I see all the good and bad everyday, all day long. He is giving me the strength to weed out the bad and present you with the good. So let people like me do the dirty work and just enjoy the benefits that positive encouragement brings. My mission is to be the buffer between the painful negativity and the truth, so more people hear about the awesome job our Officers are doing. Sit back with your coffee and enjoy the many safe, positive places that are LE themed. (my resource page has several great places...check it out!)
10. Finally, let it go. One of my readers emailed me the other day with some advice. She has been a LEOW for 20+ years. Her awesome words were this, "One thing I have learned after all these years is that my husband is safer doing Law Enforcement IN God's will than he is doing anything else OUT of God's will!" Wow! Right? How simply but beautifully put. So I encourage you to cling to that reminder when you feel burdened. When you see the negativity online or in the news remember our men and women in uniform were BORN for this. The Bible says this, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" Jeremiah 1:5 Our Officers were set apart for their calling. They can do it and they will do it, no matter how negative the world is, no matter how many evil people work against them. God ordained them in the womb to do this job. And He set YOU apart to be their wife, parent, sibling, or friend. You can do this too...and that includes surviving and thriving!
Friday, November 15, 2013
I thought I would bring this baby out of the archives since it was my very first post. Do you love it?...don't forget to Pin it and share on Facebook! Get the free printable here!
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Why Marriage Isn't for You...
“Marriage is a total commitment and a total sharing of the total person with another person until death.” ~ Wayne Mack
Ever wonder what marriage is really about? Even those of us who have been married a while can wonder sometimes. Everyone has days when they question elements of their marriage, sometimes seriously, sometimes just because it turned out different than they expected.
Especially in a Law Enforcement marriage, times can get hard. Your spouse may begin to cope with the strains of the job differently, resulting in the picture you created of your happily-ever-after becoming skewed.You may think, "This isn't what I thought it would be like." "Were the plans I had just a fantasy?"When spouses get busy (overtime, children, responsibilities) we can grow apart. The routine of everyday can creep between our bonds. We become passive and neglectful of the commitment we made. We get tired, complacent, and bitter.
It's so easy to become resentful of our spouse's job. He's late again. He doesn't care that I slaved over dinner. I'm lonely. I'm bored. He's neglecting the kids. He's neglecting me. Why can't I get a break? Why do I have to be understanding? The job always ruins my plans. Does this sound familiar? All of these things I have felt and battle with too.
When I begin "stinkin' thinkin'" I have to remember these wise words "...a true marriage (and true love) is never about you. It’s about the person you love—their wants, their needs, their hopes, and their dreams. Selfishness demands, “What’s in it for me?”, while Love asks, “What can I give?”- Seth Adam Smith "Marriage Isn't for You"
Love flows through a marriage that lives up to mutual responsibility. “Love is not self seeking, it’s not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong.” (1 Corinthians 13:5 ) marriagemissions.com
There have been several couples in the past who have come to us asking how we do it. Specially because we married young. We tell them, from the beginning we committed to putting 100% in each other. Not 100% total...we don't mean 50/50. We each put 100% into the other. When I am caring 100% for my husband's needs, and he in return does the same for me, we are both completed. We both receive full care and our marriage grows. When hard times come that steal from one of us, there is always support and love left over. I have the energy to pick up the slack for my husband when he is worn down from work, too tired to do a project, or emotionally exhausted. In the same way, he can step in and fill the void when the household responsibilities are too much, when I need a break from the kiddo, or I need an ear to listen.
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable
or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the
truth.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-6
Below is a wonderful article written by Seth Adam Smith about how marriage isn't for anyone...and it's not what you expect! Please take time to read it! "Marriage Isn't for You" http://sethadamsmith.com
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
For the hard days, and we all have too many, take a moment to notice something good. Even if it's small, like the color of the sky, or the yummy smell of dinner. Keep looking for things. Before you know it, your hard day will feel a little better. One bad day does not mean a bad life...stay positive today!
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