Saturday, November 23, 2013

The Silver Lining

Alright people, we need to stop for just a second. Insert screeching tires here...

I think we need a change of pace and a little pick me up. So often we talk about all the struggles and heartbreak and burdens of this life. And then we give advice how to get through it, usually prefaced with, there will be more challenges to come. Sounds sort of depressing right? "Hey person, you're gonna get through this but just so you know, you're going to fall right back in it again." Wow, I'm so excited! Not!

So let's put aside the drama and the intensity and focus on the awesome, super, wonderful, one-of-a-kind aspects of our Law Enforcement life. There are many! I am thankful for the great parts because the good is what holds it all together. It's what makes everything doable. I choose to look at the positives that come with this life...I've seriously had enough of the downers.

 Ok, so, my all time FAVORITE part of being a LEOW. The love between my husband and I is unlike anything! The risk of losing him makes us cling closer. I have a natural ability to nag and control, I always ask myself, if I lost him tonight, would I regret making that an issue? Like the other day, he backed up to sit on the tub while he was getting ready and smashed into the vanity drawer that I had left out (my fault), resulting in a lot of noise, a sore bum, and a bent up drawer that now doesn't close all the way. I failed to see the unimportance of it and instead got upset and worried over my ability to close the stupid drawer. About halfway through the day I realized if he didn't come home, screw the stupid drawer. I would miss his bum (heehee) and every broken thing and most importantly...HIM. So I appreciate him more because of the job. I prioritize in the relationship more because of the job. We make an effort to have more FUN because of the job. We make the effort to have better days, and deeper convos, snuggle longer, laugh harder, appreciate more. Law Enforcement has bonded us deeply. And that's my favorite part.

We have more appreciation for life. This one hopefully is a given for everyone too. We only have today, so make it awesome. Don't waste a moment, don't overlook anything that is wonderful.We even have learned to appreciate the bad stuff...or at least see it with humor. Like some of the dysfunction that comes with the job. Holidays, delayed date nights, weird dinner table convos, all of it.

My kid gets a real life super hero for a dad. And I'm totally going to help fuel her super hero belief. Her dad is out there for her and that makes me freakin' proud! This job makes me double check that I am helping build her relationship with her daddy. I'm making sure I take lots of photos and give them lots of one on one time. I also see a love between them in a special light...because we only have today.

I have a lot of fun seeing my husband out working. I am honored to be strong enough to be his wife. Since we moved to a new town, when it's safe to tell people, I love sharing that we moved here because he works for the patrol. I literally beam when people get excited or say thank you.

Not everyone hates cops. There really is nothing more special than getting a hand shake or seeing other men look up to my husband when they find out he is a LEO. A lot of times we focus on dealing with the bad situations with people, but there are many folks out there that love our LEO's. They know what a value they are to our country. And I love the feeling of watching my husband honored by someone. It does happen!

We have some awesome opportunities to build our character. That may leave you saying, yeah yeah. But really, all the struggles, all the good times, everything, we learn from and grow. I have learned to trust God more and my anxious personality has quieted...I love that. I have learned to be more patient and take the time to listen to my spouse because we don't have guaranteed time together. We have learned to lean on each other as a couple because our family is the safest safe zone ever! We have learned honest communication because bottling up things will destroy us. We have learned faith, strength, and responsibility.

There is an element of humor only cop families get. Like jokes about perps or drunks that only we would think are funny. If you ask veteran cops how they get through the job, many will say with a sense of humor. Even icky things somehow get tweeked into something funny so they can cope. A lot of times that same sense of humor is brought home. Both my parents are in medicine so I grew up with blood and gut convos at the dinner table. Our LE dinner table consists of drunk stories, success stories, funny coworker stories etc. We have our own special code that no one else gets. It's like the cool person LE club.

The friendships with LE families are awesome. We get the risks so we cleave to each other. We have fun bonding with people we can trust and people who get us on a real level. Our LE friends share the same worries, the same successes, and the same feelings. It's a brotherhood and a solid support system. Not many people can say they have sisters and brothers all over the country who pray for each other and support each other. We LE families can say that and that is pretty special!

I have grown in confidence when it comes to fixing disasters around our house. Like when our sewer line got plugged and my husband was working. Thanks to a phone call to my dad I now know how to plunge a toilet, run the sewer pump, and figure out where the plug is in the line. I can caulk tubs, shut off water when the dishwasher backs up, I can install stuff, hang pictures, etc all by myself...and with a baby on my hip to boot. I'll toot my own horn till the day I die that I definitely helped keep the house from blowing up while my husband worked. Oh yeah!

We can adapt to pretty much anything. Strange schedules, changed plans, odd holidays, making new traditions, night shifts, you name it. LEO families do it all the time and it's a trademark of the life, which I choose to love because it's the thing that makes us awesome.

Another awesome part of the job is the blessings it gives us. Like money. Money is always good so we can eat and live somewhere. And my husband has a job, I'm grateful for that because many Americans don't. Keep life simple. And appreciate even the simple things like a paycheck. A paycheck from a dangerous, hard job is still a paycheck, and I'm grateful for the one my husband brings home.

We have a lot of normal time too. Movie nights, lazy days, dates, project days, you name it. We plan ahead so birthdays are work free. We still get time for great convos and long road trips. Life goes pretty us at least! 

Finally, I asked my husband what his favorite part of having an LE life was and he answered, it's the things that aren't tangible. He has grown in confidence. He loves providing for his family while protecting others. We think of each other all the time when we are apart and it makes the welcome home kisses sweeter. It's about the bond we have developed as a family and the way we make everything count. It's the way we have grown in our faith and the peace we experience everyday. We love this life and would never trade it for anything!

Be encouraged that there are wonderful parts of this life. Lots and lots and lots of LE families have lived this life, still live it, and will live it in the future. Whether you are just facing this life, new to it, been in it for a while but are burdened, any situation, I want to say, it is doable! It is a wonderful life, but only if you see the wonderful in it! Strive to make your own wonderful parts. I would rather live this life looking at the awesome parts of it, than focusing on the bad. Creating great memories, growing, laughing, loving...those are all things we can control. We can't control the bad so give it to God and have peace that it will work out. We don't know the future but we are guaranteed God is in it.

I love, love, love my life. It has been filled with friendships, love, laughter, perspective, and growth. And I think that's a pretty good start to a pretty awesome path!

This is my prayer for you:
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:16-19

What are some of your favorite parts of this life? Share by commenting so others may be encouraged. We are in this together!


  1. What a wonderful way to look at life! I've noticed as my husband has been away at the academy it has changed how we appreciate our time together and each other. We love harder, talk longer, cuddle more, appreciate the little things and are learning to enjoy life! :-)

  2. I love this post because it's sooooo true!! My favorite nights are the nights that start out lazily with popcorn and a movie and turn into tickling time. :) I always start laughing so hard and it usually leads to hours of cuddling on the couch.